"Is cheating like the proverbial tree in the forest, that it doesn't exist if there's no one around to catch you?" - Carrie Bradshaw. Sex and the City: Season 2, Episode 6.
I am fast becoming a really bad person and am probably gonna find this out for myself at some point in the near future. In other circumstances I'd defend myself, make excuses and blame this on many things such as:
1. The fact that my job basically showcases me to the gay community.
2. Ty starting uni has meant he's been neglectful.
3. There's an insanely hot guy involved.
I'm past making excuses though. It's all on me. This is not to say I've cheated already but the way things are in my head it looks like I've rationalised that it's the best option. I can't for the life of me think how I've managed to do that.
It's Friday. I'm walking home from work at about half 2 in the morning and a hot drunken Irish man bumps into me and asks if I have his Blackberry. This somehow leads to me walking him home, him giving me a tour of where he lives (an amazing apartment block converted from an old church) and trying to kiss me and get me in his bed. I refuse saying that I have a boyfriend of course and keep telling myself that I only accompanied him to make sure he didn't get lost, raped or killed. This isn't true though. I think I just wanted to see if I could go through with it and not do anything with him. Despite many opportunities, I managed to refrain. I'm proud.
It's Saturday. I'm working again. It's coming to the last hour of my shift and as well as seeing many disgustingly unattractive people there have also been one or two hotties. One such hottie walks down and just stands next to me as I'm heckling people to go into the club and shouting drinks offers. This doesn't look too odd seen as it's 1 am on a Saturday - people everywhere. When he doesn't move for a while I ask him if he's having a good night. He responds with a drunken, fairly ambiguous answer and we get talking. At first I think he's a cocky twat who thinks he can get what he wants. Then, as we talk more, I realise he is in fact a cocky twat who thinks he can get what he wants.
Despite repeated insults I stand my ground and give him as good as he gets and it slowly breaks away to barely concealed flirting. It's hot. There's so much heat between us it's untrue. After yet more endless banter he comes and stands about a centimetre away from me. He stares into my eyes, tells me I have a beautiful smile and then leans in for a kiss. Much to my surprise I pull away quickly and tell him that I can't kiss him whilst I'm on duty and that rules are rules. He accepts this and is like 'What about later?' I tell him that I'm not kissing him tonight and that he's probably just looking for a quick shag. He says that he's not like that and that he won't leave until he has my number. I give him my number. Every moral fibre in my body is telling me to let him know I have a boyfriend. I don't.
So yeah. Shoot me now. We've kinda been texting. He's probably the most perfect guy ever. He works at a dance academy and teaches everything from street dance to hip hop etc. and before you ask, he's in amazing shape - I could tell that from a mile off. He loves his job and is so proud of the kids he teaches. He says he's been messed around by a lot of guys and that he's sick of it. He's also a man. Knows what he wants, goes after it.
My boyfriend doesn't return any of my calls or texts and thinks it's perfectly acceptable to say he's too busy for me to visit but then have his friends from home visit him. He also only rings me when he's waiting for someone/something or travelling somewhere. When he's on the phone to me, more often than not, he'll talk to someone else for ages while I'm still on the other end of the line and completely ignore me. This, however, does not mean that I am at all in the right. I'm just in a bad situation. I'm gonna have words with him. After a ridiculously short period of time, it's not working out. I'm clearly really bad at relationships and/or life.