Recently I've been getting into music like this, this and this. I'm not really sure if it's just a period of my life I'm going through but that kind of thing is really hitting my buttons right now.
The birthday weekend came and went and aside from spelling it out to my uni friends I made it clear that I didn't want them there and they made other plans. This left the night of four which surprisingly enough wasn't horrifically awful and despite empty clubs, extortionately priced drinks and unplayed song requests, I actually kinda enjoyed myself. It also put things into perspective in some ways as previously bewildered at the fact that I could only gather four people together to celebrate, I now realise that the people who matter to me the most are of real value, not the quantity. I should never be ashamed of the fact that the people I want to spend time with are few. Yeah I've subconsciously (in come cases consciously I'm sure) not kept people close but with good reason. It's tough coming out to a lot of people as I'm sure many of you know.
Thoughts have been focused and decisions have been made (you'd think I was solving world hunger or something), not alone I might add - friends and commenters have also played their part. As far as the coach is concerned, nothing's gonna happen. I've made it known I'm not interested because shockingly enough, I'm actually not. I think, after all the deliberation, after all the pointless whining, after everything, I may well be over it. I definitely won't be the only one saying 'thank fuck for that'.
Things with Ty are a bit more complicated. He's gone on holiday to Magaluf for a week which is a bit unfortunate seen as I leave for Barcelona before he returns. This means I won't see him for at least three and a half weeks meaning we won't be able to have 'the chat' for a while. I hate to say but I am kinda missing him. As casual as I've tried to make things out in my head,we have known each other for over three months now and been in contact every day. I am ultimately gonna tell him that I don't want anything serious when we do talk but I'm also worried that it'll put a damper on the last month with us both in the same country. I suppose it's just something I'm gonna have to do.
How much I like him has been all too apparent recently as I've been a bit of a jealous, angry wreck. Dave's ex, Mr. Perfect, came out with us last week meeting Ty for the first time. The two spent most of the night together much to my dismay. On top of that they've been talking on Facebook and being flirty. Yeah alright, we're not together, I get it, but it's just rude on Mr. Perfect's part. He should know better than to step on my turf. He likes being around people that don't talk back to him, people that don't call him on anything and just listen to the crap he has to say. That is exactly why we do not get on. We're civil but I don't have a problem taking him down a peg or two. Ty's nice and probably would have been quiet all night while Mr. Perfect droned on and this is why they're suddenly 'best buddies'. Even though I know I'm being unreasonable, reading the posts between them makes me want to take the computer I'm on and throw it very hard at a wall/out of the window/at someone's face. I think I have anger issues, maybe that's the reason for the current song choices. It also doesn't help that I'm wearing bright red today.
My two week trip to Spain means that I won't be posting for a while. I should probably jump on the Twitter bandwagon and 'tweet' via text but that's far too much effort so you won't be hearing from me for a few weeks. It's a family holiday so don't expect me to come back with some wild stories either. However, I'm secretly hoping that all the men are as beautiful as Spain's very own Mr. Iglesias (left).
Right now though I'm gonna listen to The Long Blonde's 'Once and Never Again' and sob to myself because I am in fact not 19 anymore.
See you on the other side.
P.S. Using the library computers again. The lack of spaces in between a few paragraphs above? Not me, Internet Explorer has just decided it won't do paragraph breaks. Lovely. I mean, you'd think after doing this layout I'd be able to solve this and be at least slightly computer savvy. I'm not.